I think both sides of the argument have some truths. I do not think it is a sign of disrespect, if the daughter is living on her own WITHOUT the financial support of the father, for the husband-to-be not to ask for the father’s blessing on the marriage. At the same time, however, it would show that the fiance respects the young lady’s father, and it also would be an indication of the integrity held by the husband-to-be. There is a difference between asking for permission to marry and asking for blessing to marry. With asking for permission one could easily look on it as a property exchange, however it’s not meant to be viewed that way. Any father that is perplexed over the fiance not asking, whether permission or blessing, is more concerned with the type of man his daughter is marrying rather than the young man’s choice to not ask. Blessing, on the other hand, is act of boldness on the guy’s part. When one asks for the father’s blessing essentially what he is doing is asking the father if he is good enough for his daughter. Whichever way one might ask the father of the bride, whether permission or blessing, or if he asks at all reflects on the relationship that the husband-to-be is expecting between himself and his future father-in-law. I think there is also liability for the husband-to-be, and assurance/trust for the father. By asking the father and him saying yes, the husband-to-be is liable for ANYTHING that happens to the daughter after they are wed. It also gives the father assurance that the man his princess is marrying will honor, love, and cherish her till death do they part. So for a young man to ask the father of the bride-to-be is more a covenant between the fiance and the father that states the fiance will care for, look after, love forever, and guard the man’s daughter with his very life until the day he dies.
Some of you may have already read, so for those who don’t have Facebook… enjoy! Let me know where you stand.
To ask the father for permission or blessing to marry his daughter… or not