I find myself to be very picky when it comes to education. As I have previously shared, I am currently enrolled in the automotive program at Blue Ridge Community College. In the last 24 hours, I have come to realize that pursuing this may very well have been a bad idea. This whole ordeal has ended up causing pain that could have been avoided. What happened was out of my desire to pursue this “career,” I lied to my wife about my reasons for chasing after this. I told her it was where God was leading me, but the truth is, I never sought after God’s guidance in this area. Now this has done a number of things, first, I used God to keep people from questioning my decision, because this was what I WANTED, and I was convinced that all I needed was to make more money. Second, I betrayed my wife’s trust by lying to her. Lastly, this has lead me to a place of utter discontentment in what I am doing. Schooling has always been a difficult thing for me. I don’t like sitting in the classroom, especially if I am in a class that I am NOT passionate about. My passions in regards to education is for my religion degree and then seminary after that. This is what I love doing. I wish I had a study that I could go into and simply read/study the Bible as well as theological and religion based books. All of this really came to my attention last night when I looked at my wife and said, “I hate being in the auto program.” Now, this came as no surprise to her because she’s always known that I don’t like taking classes for things which I’m not passionate about. This realization on my part has to me searching out the reasons that I chose to pursue this field of study. It was during this self evaluation that I realized I had lied to my wife and blamed God for my actions. I have since sought forgiveness from both God and Hannah for my actions and am trying to make things right (by seeking God’s direction for my education). Please pray for me as I strive to see what God would have me do regarding my education, and also that I would be quick to trust God with the money needed to pay for it.